Silhouettes: Poems & Songs Read online

most of my life with all of you, my family, my friends, but there is always that vein of fear which draws me from accepting myself as I am.

  And though you may not like it, it doesn't matter to me any more. Because in order to live a life unafraid, self-defined and dignified, I have to be open to myself.

  Many of you know my past struggles and where I stand now, but I've just come to accept it for what it is, what I am. I am a homosexual being, and if you can't take me as I am, farewell.

  It's time I put myself ahead of everyone and their expectations. Because I've finally realized.

  I finally realized that my weakness would soon become my strength in this

  I listened to the voice in my heart and walked a new path as one fell apart

  I finally had enough of the shame so I went forth with a whole new name

  I came to believe in my dreams instead of wishing on a dead stars gleam

  Cause no one dream will ever come true if you don't accept you for you

  No, only you can prove the world wrong if you prove to yourself you are strong

  Cause no one dream will ever come true if you don't accept you for you

  No, only you can prove the world wrong if you prove to yourself you are strong

  The Man I Am Today

  For all the hurt I caused you and the worry I infused

  I apologize from my heart for the comfort I refused

  For all the tears in your eyes and all the words unsaid

  I apologize from my heart for ever wishing I were dead

  For all the times I broke you and the tales I told untrue

  I apologize from my heart and I’m glad my mom is you

  Because you shaped me by your courage and you shaped me by your strength

  Yeah, you shaped me by your smiles and you shaped me by your fears

  Yeah, you shaped the man I am today

  Because you shaped me from your heart and you shaped me from your soul

  For all the days that I’d run and the privileges abused

  I apologize from my heart for ever making you confused

  For all the fights that we had and all the silent bends

  I apologize from my heart for telling all my friends

  For all the scars that I hid and the times I hated you

  I apologize from my heart and I’m glad my dad is you

  Because you shaped me by your courage and you shaped me by your strength

  Yeah, you shaped me by your smiles and you shaped me by your fears

  Yeah, you shaped the man I am today

  Because you shaped me from your heart and you shaped me from your soul

  Oh, you shaped me from your knowledge and you shaped me from your dreams

  From the moment I was born to the first steps I walked forth

  Oh, you shaped me from your knowledge and you shaped me from your dreams

  Form this moment till my death you’ll shape me forevermore

  Because you shaped me from your heart and you shaped me from your soul

  Yeah, you shaped the man I am today

  Love Me Not

  Even if they love me not, I have to live for myself

  Even if they broke me once, I will always wish them well

  Even if they love me not, I won’t let the pain take me

  Even if they broke me once, I won’t wish them misery

  The world is hard enough without igniting new flames

  Bashing on one another and even shouting out harsh names

  Said to be the “land of the free” all I see is tragedy

  Cos’ we’re all lost in the hate abreast pains company

  Seeing each other and ourselves as different species

  What will it take to realize we share the same individualities

  We each hold hopes and dreams and try to find true love

  But we’re so blinded by the struggles, the push and the shove

  Take a second, take a breath, open your eyes and sing

  Open your eyes and sing

  Even if they love me not, I have to live for myself

  Even if they broke me once, I will always wish them well

  Even if they love me not, I won’t let the pain take me

  Even if they broke me once, I won’t wish them misery

  Loving yourself is all it takes, even accepting your flaws

  To extinguish the flames of hate and unite some new laws

  Some which don’t discriminate or divide us by our hearts

  Ones to bring us closer and bring about a completely new start

  Cos’ the only way to live is to stand hand in hand without hate

  To demonstrate to the young that change is never too far, too late

  That we hold hopes and dreams and believe in true love

  And we’re so blinded by the struggles, the push and the shove

  Take a second, take a breath, open their eyes and sing

  Open their eyes and sing

  Even if they love me not, I have to live for myself

  Even if they broke me once, I will always wish them well

  Even if they love me not, I won’t let the pain take me

  Even if they broke me once, I won’t wish them misery

  Memory of You

  I can’t help but to look back to a time when you were here.

  My heart is plagued by sadness. Yet, my thoughts remain sincere.

  I can’t help but to embrace the tears from deep inside;

  I’m glad for all the good times shared- my love will not subside.

  I spend my days looking through each and every photograph.

  Sometimes they make me wonder why the good times never last;

  They draw me back to a place confined deep within my heart-

  At times they make me want to run back to the very start.

  I know you’ll be watching over me until we meet again

  And I know that I must continue walking forth in this world

  Because you were more than blood to me you were a great friend

  And if I don’t share my memories of you they’ll remain untold

  My Shine

  I feel your eyes seeping through as you’re searching through my soul

  I’ve felt the rage in your heart, shared the pain and let it go

  You’re trying to break me down with the hate you hold inside

  You’re blinded by their lies, so allow me to clear your mind

  You’re the one that I live for, darling you’re my shine, no lie

  You’re the reason I awaken to both clear and cloudy skies

  You lift my spirits high even when you’re miles apart

  You’re the reason I’ve changed, you vitalized my heart

  Darling please don’t go, because you’re the one I need

  It’s your voice, your smile, your laugh which drive me to succeed

  You’re the guidance from my past which draws me to smile

  To hold my head up and stand tall despite the endless trials

  You’re my one dream come true, I long since dreamt as a child

  The angel in disguise to keep my heart from running wild

  You’re my hero and my flaw, but together we are strong

  So if you leave me understand, my heart will sing no other song

  I Wish I Didn’t Love You

  This has been killing inside

  I think I’ve lost my freaking mind

  I can’t believe I feel this way

  I wish these thoughts would fade away

  This has haunted me since youth

  And I still can’t face the truth

  Why must my heart still scream

  As my soul strains to dream

  To be with you, just to hold you

  Damn, I wish I didn’t love you

  I wish I didn’t know you

  But the fact is that I need you

  It is immoral, it’s a sin

  That’s what they’re always saying

  Preaching so-called love
with hate

  Teaching us God discriminates

  We’re only human, that is true

  But why must they be so cruel

  Causing my heart to scream

  As my soul strains to dream

  To be with you, just to hold

  Damn, I wish I didn’t love you

  I wish I didn’t know you

  But the fact is that I need you

  Never Let You Down

  It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow

  But darling that’s okay cos it’s your hearts beat I follow

  And though we may never be, I’ll never let you down

  Darling close your eyes and see I’ll never let you down

  No, I’ll never let you down…never let you down

  Some days I look back to the time you caught my eye

  Kool-aid smile on my face even as you passed me by

  I was too shy to say a thing, even tried to write a note

  But I seen you had a man and felt a strain on my throat

  So my letters and my thoughts remained in a secret knot

  Buried deep within my heart questioning why I never fought

  Truth be told, I fought hard against my heart just to keep away

  And now the same chorus echoes in my head to this very day

  It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow

  But darling that’s okay cos it’s your hearts beat I follow

  And though we may never be, I’ll never let you down

  Darling close your eyes and see I’ll never let you down

  No, I’ll never let you down…never let you down

  Time After Time (I Searched)

  Night after night I dreamed it would soon fade

  I dreamed of a dawn without sorrows cascade

  Year after year I searched within and outside

  Questioning the answers I knew I held inside

  And time after time I drowned and I lost sight

  Till you came in my life and shined a new light

  Now the days don’t seem quite as long as before

  And the smiles I frame are as strong as my core

  Cos you held me through the doubts and the fears

  Through every void I faced once on my own

  Cos you broke me from the hate and the tears

  Through every sense of forever being alone

  I searched for long, but it was you, searching for me

  Oh, I searched for long and I can finally breathe

  Day after day I walked forth without meaning

  I walked forth living